Ecdysis

by Dead Split Egos

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1.
03:50
2.
02:02
3.
03:53
4.
01:07
5.
02:22
6.
03:04
7.
02:33
8.
02:27

credits

released February 17, 2017

Recorded at The Nook Recording Studio in New Lenox, IL
Mixed and Mastered by Nick Nativo

All songs written and recorded by Dead Split Egos
Guest Vocals on "Guilt" - Rob Tomasek
Guest Vocals on "Fed Up" - Sam McGivney

Album art by Jessica Olejnik
Layout by Shannon Conway

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Dead Split Egos Chicago, Illinois

Hardcore from Chicago

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Track Name: Dead Skin
Fall back in the cycle, cold air tightens in my lungs
Failing to self medicate my depression, fuck a therapy session
Shedding old friends like snake skin, they watched me get this shallow
Got better at moving on, let everyone who loved me drown

Weed out the snakes

I've done my time and I want out
Out of this prison, it exists where I'm living
You call this home I call this hell, never comfortable to be myself
Cause of what's taught I am afraid, so I'll continue to feel disdain

Weed out the snakes

Peeling off dead skin, the scars you left are in
My head filling with blood and earth caked my hands are
Peeling off dead skin, the scars you left are in
My head filling with blood and earth caked my hands
Track Name: Neutral
"Grow some hair on your chest"
"Boys don't shave their legs or paint their nails black"
"Don't you want to be a man?"

I wont align to a gender, don't fuck with a straight worlds standards
I wont be a beloved son to a proud father or loving mother

What's between my legs doesn't make me a man

Fuck the binary
I refuse to be a victim to the patriarchy
I refuse to be like you
Track Name: Guilt
I think I've had it, gone off the deep end
I'll never pretend to be your fucking friend
I'm sick of feeling like giving up
I'm on a downward spiral, when will i hit rock bottom?

Failure still haunts me and I can't shake the guilt
It sits upon my shoulders, the one that loneliness built
But what have I done to deserve this?
And why am I the one that suffers because of your actions?

I don't know anymore.

Your transparency is shining through
It's obvious the only person you do things for is you
Your motivation for my manipulation
Stipulation of who you deem weak
I won't let you groom me because I know where I stand
And I don't need your fake validation
I know what's best for me because I'm the one living in these shoes
I won't be your puppet, I'm not your fucking doll

Hungry for publicity, reputation, and fraud
Bolstering corruption dodging exposure for who you are
I don't subscribe to your bullshit
So please stop acting like you're not a fucking hypocrite
Track Name: Choke
I am the one who led her astray
The path I walk is not your way
You turned your family to leeches
Do you still have a pulse?

I will be the Antichrist to what you hold divine
I long to see your eyes when I tell you we're just waiting
For you to die

It's always been that time
I wish I could choke you with your words
Make you swallow the filth that you spit from your lips
The shit you don't give about raising your family, about raising your kids
Track Name: Fed Up
I'm sick and I know it, I know I'll never show you how I feel or what it means to say that. So if you'll just leave me alone to be by myself I'll stop pretending to be like someone else.

I think it's pretty clear to see that I don't like the world and it doesn't like me. I feel so empty but the outside looks so full, I never thought I could feel so mechanical.

I feel so lost, like I'll never find myself, like I'll never find my way, that I'll never be okay. One day my body will lie in a hearse, they say death is bad but breathing is so much worse.

There's nothing fucking left.
Track Name: Apology
I used to believe things were changing, that they would get better
But what a fool I was because they only got worse

I'm scared of getting older cause it's only getting colder
When I was younger I had a future and now there's nothing left
Ever changing, always fading, you're a ghost of your former self
Always stuck going nowhere, you found nothing and you never will

Have you ever let your bones collect dirt until they rust?
Let your feet collect dust until there was nothing left to rot
I ignore my simplest of needs, I rot a hole in my bed
I wish I could do the things I plan in my head

I was stuck having days feeling disdain for my existence
Now I know my worth, I put myself first I won't compromise

I owe an apology to god, I haven't upkept his property
How can I take care of myself if they didn't take care of me?
Track Name: Solace
The bones inside of my body have become a cell
I became the skeleton in my closet and I dressed it well
Stuck in a bullshit quest to find myself
Everyone I tried to be couldn't fill this hollow shell

I feel like I'm dying and I can't really tell
I feel like I'm dying and I might as well
Is living like this better than hell?
How is living like this better than hell?

Wake up another morning of shoving painkillers down my throat
Growing up I never wanted to die, now I long for it in my soul
Scratches on my arms, clawing from a body, becoming a hole
Watching everything I love in life die painfully slow

Self acceptance does not mean self love
Remaining content is never enough
I sought solace in feeling numb
I cut my heart out so I wont die young
Track Name: Reborn
Silent and grey, always changing
It never stays the same and I prefer it that way
For would I be something if there is nothing to say?
Who am I but nothing, separated from what I feel

Hold me up, break me down
Lay me to rest forever

What if one day I ceased to exist?
The only question I have is would I even be missed?
This feeling, this weight, is like a fucking plague
I wish it would just put me in my grave

I wish I was dead

Hold me up, break me down
Lay me to rest forever

Dead weight lifting, dead skin peeling
Decorticate the excess, innovate the weary
Cut your defective organs, pulverize fragments
Let it be reborn